Avoiding Triggers and Stuff

Since last time, I've been making an effort to avoid things that trigger my depression. That mostly means avoiding things that make me anxious, because anxiety and depression are like best buds in my mind right now. It isn't particularly easy to do when my biggest anxiety trigger won't leave me alone. My only coping mechanism for him right now is refusing to give a fuck.

As for the other things, I'm not really going to get into the specifics. I just know that they're working pretty well. I haven't felt too terrible about myself or life or anything for nearly the entirety of this week. That wasn't the case last week and it's a bit early for the antidepressants to be having an effect.

I can't afford proper therapy. I'm positive that it would be very useful, because I hardly to anyone besides myself. However, I have started to writing down when I'm feeling particularly bad. Not anything down. It's just an acknowledgement of the feelings. It's good for me. It's doing something with them other than feeling bad. It isn't really doing anything to get at the root causes, but that' why I'm doing the other stuff.

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I started watching Friends again. I've seen every episode of that show multiple times, but I had stopped watching the reruns several years ago. Mostly due to a new lack of other options, I started watching it again.

I'm enjoying it. I'm also finding it somewhat weird. It's strange watching a sitcom where the internet and cell phones are uncommon and not so important to socializing. I can remember when there were new episodes on TV, but I feel like I can't really remember a time where the best way to communicate wasn't the internet. I certainly don't think those are bad things, it's just seems like a time before all this was so long ago.

And there's nothing more exciting to tell about.

-Michael