Weird things. Good Moods scare the shit out of me anymore. I mean, I can revel in it for a bit before I realize what's happening. Perhaps, I'm scared of prolonged good moods.
If I'm in a good mood and realize it, the killer goes like this:
Brain: Oh shit, is this mania? Oh God I'm bipolar. I just can't be bipolar. I can't be like him
Rational thought: C'mon bro, this isn't mania
Brain: Noooooo, it is. It has to be. I can't even sleep.
Rational thought: You can't sleep because you're worried your manic, so you're probably not manic
Brain: WHAT DO YOU KNOW? You're just in denial
Rational thought: Stop
Brain: NEVVVEEERRR
Then there's the fear that it won't last. Shit is unpredictable and there's always the risk that I'll be coming to hell.
Really short one today, but just in case
tl;dr I'm scared I'm manic if I'm happy
Thanks for reading
-Michael
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