Friday, December 14, 2012

Sluts and Such

Since everyone else is doing it. And I haven't posted in ages.

I'm not the hugest of Jenna Marbles fan. I was, until yesterday, subscribed to her channel, but I'll say I was picky about which ones were worth watching. If it looked like a funny topic, I'd be down, but there's only so many 'what guys think while' videos one can take. Anyway, her video this week was about how she doesn't understand 'sluts'. (If you wanna watch, you can look it up. I will not be putting a link to it here.)

I think it's informative to think about the issue of slut-shaming in a broad perspective. We cannot escape that as a western culture sex out of wedlock is frowned upon nor that the culture has largely derived its values from Christianity. Basically what that means is
Pleasure = Sin,
Sex(for any purpose other than recreation and in wedlock) = Pleasure
Therefore Sex = Sin
We all have grown up in this world. Our minds are sort molded to feel guilty for even desires of sexual activity and to place shame upon those who do get their swerve on.

I realize fully that when it comes to sex women have it much, much worse than men in terms of being shamed by society. It is a patriarchy after all. A man who has lots of sex with lots of different people* can certainly be shamed by society**, but that is atypical and only really happens when a man is unfaithful.

The main societal issue is obviously not with the perception of men who have sex. If a man is getting laid a lot, it's cause he's virile. It's a point of pride amongst male peer groups to be getting some booty.

Okay, enough about boys.

Girls and women who choose to have casual sex or pre-martial sex are viewed by our culture as 'sluts.' Not everyone shares this view obviously. People have their own moral codes and views. The stricter religious types may see any sex outside of marriage as being 'slutty.' Some people with looser views may think pre-maritial sex is okay with a longstanding boyfriend, but may still give a woman the label 'slut' if she has multiple partners. Or if she puts out on the first date. Or if she has one-night stands. Or all kinds of things.

I do not have definition of slut. I don't think it's a useful term. It shames someone for doing something that isn't shameful. Whether or not a person chooses to have sex and the frequency of it and with whom the act performed is no reason to slap a label on a person with such negative connotations. Calling some one a 'slut' just enforces the religious idea that sex is bad and the patriarchal idea that women need to save themselves for marriage.

The only sexual behaviors that should be under scrutiny of any one should be dangerous ones. There isn't a problem with taking 'too many dicks.' The concern should be whether or not that dick has a condom on it, or is there with consent, or has an STI or could cause an unwanted pregnancy.

If anyone deserves a derogatory term thrown at them for their sexual behavior, it is those who have unsafe sex. Even then it is so much better to educate rather than mock.

The culture on this issue isn't going to change quickly, I'm afraid. Different generations have drastically different views and the old and morally stricter generations have great social and political control. There will be a changing of the guard before too long though. There is a march towards tolerance of sexuality and sexual behavior. As Dr. Martin Luther King said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice."

Thanks for reading and please comment

*I will come to safety in a bit
**See Tiger Woods***
***I am certain that if Tiger Woods were single when we learned about his propensity for having lots of mistresses, it wouldn't have been a big deal,****
****See Wilt Chamberlin

P.S. Ending on a Dr. King quote. Gag me with a spoon.

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