Saturday, August 4, 2012

Panicky Weeks

These past few weeks have sucked. They've sucked hard and for no good reason.

I don't know exactly when it started. Well, I kind of do. My medication was increased, because I didn't feel that it was working as effectively as it could and my symptoms had gotten worse in the week or so leading up to the appointment.

So, that was a mistake. Increasing the dosage didn't help in fact it has made things worse. Along with having trouble breathing most of the time now I have horrible tension headaches, which I've never had before. And long periods of anxiety have there natural result for me, which is just feeling bad about myself.

It's not too terrible. I can talk myself out of it, but it still sucks. I like this so much less than when I'm normally sad. I'm on drugs not to be sad and when I am it makes my mind all weird (really specific I know). I tried Klonopin and didn't like it at all. I'm all for chilling my brain out, but just chilled it out for too long.

Anyway, Next week hopefully we'll be able to my medication sorted out and I'll be hoping that I'll be able to start actually planning a move out of here. That'll be the most important thing to help me deal with this effing anxiety.

Sorry. Downer post. Rambling post. Really short post. I'll try to do better in the coming days. I'm having a hard time really focusing on anything. Another system of whatever the fuck is going on with me. I'm also tired a lot of the time, so I'm sort of ready for bed.

Thanks for reading


1 comment:

  1. Having a plan will help your state of mind so much. And it will probably get especially better if you get that job (fingers crossed!). Not having a direction can be super depressing, but knowing that you're saving up for a specific thing (that thing being a Step Forward) will almost definitely start turning your mood upward. And getting the medication ish straightened out will obviously help too. Chin up.