I've learned that direct engagement with the type of people who would leave douchy comments on comments on my friend's video about feminism is pretty well pointless. These people are entrenched in their ideas, so there's no changing there minds. Also, in all likelihood they're looking for a rise, so, in my logical/Hufflepuff style, I think it's best to just ignore them. Inform those worth informing and leave the rest.
I really think one big problem lots of these anti-feminists have is that they don't understand what equal means. There is a lot of fear in losing one's gender identity in there. The idea, at least I think, that they have is that equality means making the genders the same. This isn't the case obviously. Equal and same are very similar words, but there is a distinction. I think the easiest way to understand what equal means is in Math*. Take a look at this simple equation:
10-7 = 2+1
So, there is equivalency in two unique sides of an equation. Three equals three regardless of how one got there. Of course society is considerably more complex, but the general idea still works. Two unique groups of people can have equal rights and treatment without being identical.
I've think there are two main arguments I've found with these comments. They are actually quite hard to decipher. I don't even know whether to call the logic circular or just non-existent.
The common argument against feminism that these people seem to make is about radical feminism. This is simply an association fallacy. There are extremists in everything. Yes, a few feminists really hate men and ride around with, "Circumcision Doesn't Go Far Enough" bumper stickers. And if you're arguing against feminism you're probably a white conservative male, so obviously you're in the Ku Klux Klan right?
Another argument that I've managed to decipher is the idea of "Female Privilege**" The idea here seems to be that women get certain benefits socially that men don't get. However, that is really just an extension of the problem. Having dinner payed for or a car door opened comes from the falsehood that women are weaker than men. Feminists don't want to have nice things done to them or do nice things just because one is female, but because one person is being nice to another.
There are also a few institutional advantages that women do have. The Mom will win custody battles a lot of the time. It is easier for women to legally change their names. Men aren't allowed to sit next to unattended children on airplanes. Feminism has absolutely nothing to do with these though and really doesn't like it anymore than misogynists do. These benefits come from old notions about the role women play in society.
I think the most important thing to remember that culturally and institutionally the system benefits men more than it does women. I may not get the kids, and if I try to change my name to spite my father they would just assume I was criminally. You know what I do get, better pay for the same work, sexual freedom, greater opportunity for advancement in nearly every field, assumptions of ability, and a whole lot more. I think I win in this trade off and I don't want to, because I've done nothing to deserve it other than having a penis.
Thanks for reading
**I really hate the use of the word privilege in a social sense. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages they are born with and it just seems to be another way to put groups down.