Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Batman Knows That Cheetahs Are Carnivores

In yesterday's post I said you could comment and I'd write whatever you told me to. Emma told me to write a short story containing the words :Batman, carnivore, sailboat, explosion, bonnet, carpenter, and meadow. So, I wrote a fan fiction based around the Video Game, Batman: Arkham Asylum*. It's really bad and I really hope that no Batman purist finds this. I totally made up a villian. In fact, I hope no one reads this, but it's to late to back out and I promised, so here it goes:

The fog covered the ground between the buildings as if it were a meadow between mountain peaks. The early morning air was heavy and it was quiet following an eventful overnight. Batman couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t the end of the eventful times though as looked down from the top of the asylum.

The explosion rattled the ground and Batman jumped flew down using his cape to the source of the noise. The dust clouded the air as he slowly and deliberately approached the damage. A shrill laugh rung out that sounded as though it came from all directions.

“Blind as a bat,” called out a female voice with a mysterious accent.

Batman gripped is Batarang as he made his way deeper into the dust. He didn’t recognize the voice. The dust cleared slightly and a rapidly moving shadow appeared. Batman moved faster and emerged from the dust to find a woman sitting on a ledge. She was dressed like an Amish woman, including a bonnet; however her dress was hemmed much shorter than would be allowed.

“Who are you, woman?” Batman called out, “Give up or you’ll end up like the Joker.”

She laughed as she looked him over.

“I’m Amish Ann,” she said, “I was naughty and they kicked me out and I ended up here.”

“Go back to your cell, Ann,” he said, “otherwise I’ll have to hurt you.”

“That’s no fun, Batman,” she said as she jumped down.

Batman threw his batarang, but she quickly dodged and in a flash had landed a kick that knocked him to the ground. She giggled as she returned to her ledge. He slowly lifted himself off the ground. He had been surprised by the blow, but he was able to figure out how to use her strength against her.

“I bet you can’t do that again,” he said mockingly

“You’ll see, Batman!” she said in a huff clearly offended.

She jumped down and charged with her amazing quickness. He pulled out his grappling hook and shot. It hooked onto the top of a nearby building and he was quickly lifted into the air. He just missed the quickly charging woman and she crashed full force into one of the Island’s large trees. She crumbled into a heap on the ground and Batman glided down to secure the villainess.

Batman had the previously unknown villain on her way to her cell. He called Oracle.

“Oracle,” he said, “I’ve encountered a new villain. She called herself Amish Ann. She has more speed than a Cheetah, which is a carnivore by the way, but I managed to subdue her.”

“I’ll look for information on an inmate that fits that description,” Oracle said, “you need to get back to the city, Bruce. Joker must have planted some goons, because they started causing trouble once he was down.”

“It’s probably a distraction,” he said, “but I’ll come, if I can find a way off this Island.”

“The Island is sealed off, Bruce” Oracle said, “You couldn’t drive off even if the Batmobile wasn’t on the seafloor. I’m sure they’d let you sail past the blockade, but there are not boats docked there.”

“I’ll find a way,” he said.

Batman turned around and saw and Amish man standing there. He prepared for a fight.

“Who are you?” Batman yelled.

“I’m Jeremiah,” he said shakily, “I don’t fight. She made me come with her.”

“Jeremiah,” Batman said calmly, “Are you a good carpenter?”

“Yes,” he said, “I’ve built lots of barns and such, but why would need such a thing here?”

"If you can build me a sailboat,” Batman said, “I can get you off this island.”

“I’ll need tools,” he said, “but I’ll be able to build one.”

“Stay here,” Batman said, “I’ll get you your tools.”


With the car I was going to drive this week for the commute to work and back, I'm now driving Sarah and Brett's Chevy Blazer. The drive went smoothly today. I was glad to be back in Reynoldsburg. The bank I use doesn't have a branch in Athens and I needed to make a deposit, so I got that done. Hooray for not having to worry about overdrawing.

That's it for BEDA this time. Thanks for reading and commenting. Next time I post, hopefully I'll actually have something to say. I still think BEDA is a worthy exercise. It always pretty much turns to crap, but I think that's part of why it's good. It's noting things that you wouldn't normally note. Then, occasionally a post may actually have a point if you force yourself to do it so many days in a row.

Ok, signing off

*Great Game


  1. Oh my god, I didn't think you'd actually do it (dance, puppet; DANCE). Seriously though, this is glorious. Amish Ann. Brilliant.

  2. Congrats on making it the whole way through BEDA!!