Sunday, August 14, 2011

Melodramatic and Bitchy Again

I think it must becoming more obvious how miserable being around my father makes. I'd come to conclusion that he is so used to my miserable that he thinks it's my normal. He comes to the conclusion that we get along great when I'm just no openly hostile towards him, so at the moment he thinks we're best buds. Apparently my annoyance is becoming more noticeable lately though. He varies between telling how great he is, because he works so hard and his trademark passive aggressive guilt-tripping.

I think he thinks it's because I'm lazy and don't want to do any work. His opinion of himself is so high that he can't realize that it's him. I mean most of the shit he's doing and wanting to do is just stupid and wasteful of money, which is annoying, but I could get over that. I just don't want to spend time with, especially time working on something with him. He's always critical. If I do something, he'll redo it if at all possible. Then there's the fact that I just don't like him at all on a personal level. I just want to do shit alone, that's all. And the shit that he can do alone, please leave me the fuck out of it.

I've gotten a few "breaks" from things this summer, which should help, but really it just makes it worse. Things being nice for a while makes it so much worse when I come back. Anyway, I have a feeling that eventually this will end up in him insisting in me going to counseling, because as soon as he realizes someone doesn't think the sun shines out of his ass, it's because there's something wrong with them.

*bangs head against the wall*

Ok, happier times. The weather has been nice the past few days. It's the middle of August and it didn't reach 80 degrees today. It's not even gonna reach 85 for several days. It's great especially since July was so terribly hot.

Thanks for reading



  1. Sorry if I'm totally out of line here, but is there any chance of talking to your dad about this stuff? I don't know if you've tried addressing how shitty he makes you feel. And I know (believe me, I know) that sometimes that conversation just isn't an option. But if it is, it might help to have him at least be aware of the effect his actions have. Again, sorry to pry. Hopefully the good will ultimately outweigh the bad. I also find that there are very few bad situations that aren't at least slightly eased by this: =]

  2. Kitteh!

    Saying something just makes things worse for everyone. He either doesn't listen to criticism or views someone's criticism as proof of their insanity. He damn near sued a therapist who once told him he was doing things wrong. If my family or I say something it just leads to him bitching to the other 3 about how terrible the other is. We've learned to just keep our mouths shut and just rely on each other until things eventually come to a head and his medication gets sorted out.

  3. Ah. I'm sorry it has to be that way. But at least the rest of you have each other, and that counts for way more than his inability to appreciate what a great family he has.